I feel more at home in a dark and musty basement
than I do running through the hills of this disgusting wasteland
encased in pavement. This shit’s a maze, man, your life is a skinner’s box,
‘til the one who call the shots call the cops, then all bets are off.
I was the faceplant kingpin, drunk as a skunk punk in the trunk,
now I just pour one out for the homies who up and went kerplunk.
Spent the last 24 months steeped in regret that’s palpable
with an OCD grimace grin etched into my sunken skull.
I was drowning in a shallow puddle, resigning to my shadow double,
truth be told I feel like I’ve always been more trouble
than I’m worth. I’m told that I’ve been a cynic since birth
and mother earth said grass is always greener when it’s astroturf.
But every day is a green day when I’m envious of all that cash
like I never met a dollar that I didn’t burn to ash.
I feel like I’ve always known the answer but never heard the question.
Nothing feels less fresh than being a 30-year-old freshman

I can’t convince myself to change,
can’t convince myself to act my age,
I cannot change and
I’m been going down the drain. X4

I’ve been looking in the mirror on some “what the fuck is wrong with me?”
More dejected than I was at seventeen, somebody stop me, please.
I need to see a shrink, talk it out, stop and think,
but can’t even get myself to move and every dish is dirty in the sink.
So, yeah, I know I need some help but I don’t need your help.
I’ve been in hell since hell was hell and I can’t see this ending well.
It’s a swell day to swelter in the furnace of this sack race
while my foible and my fate silently elope and suck face.
Oh great, the sun rays are bringing silver linings to my shadows,
it’s just a matter of time before I’m laughing in the gallows.
How low can I go? Truthfully, I don’t even know.
Yo, I might be wearing a cape but I’ve also got a tag on my toe.
Beauty is in the eye of the beast, best heed the warning sign on the gate
before you show up for a dinner date and wind up on my dinner plate.
I’ve always been an ingrate, you were just too great to judge me,
and when you finally get the hint you’ll be the last person who loved me.

I can’t convince myself to change,
can’t convince myself to act my age,
I cannot change and
I’ve been going down the drain. X4